


Forgiveness

by MuspelYuri



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, M/M, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Time Turner (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27979746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuspelYuri/pseuds/MuspelYuri
Summary: Draco opens up to Harry and his friends about why he couldn't help them fight Voldemort. He tries to earn their forgiveness and to become their friend.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

“I’m sorry, Harry. I had no other choice. I would have helped you if I could.” Draco exclaimed. “What do you mean you didn’t have a choice? Everyone has a choice.” Harry said. “Easy for you to say. You didn’t live with literal death eaters.” Draco almost screamed out. “I have lost countless people.” Harry said. “Do you think I didn’t care about some of them? I hated it every time someone got killed! I just had to act like I didn’t. At first I said something about it, but I soon learned it was seen as normal.” Draco said with a sad expression on his face. “Are you claiming that everything you did you only did because otherwise you would get in trouble? Including all the insults you threw our way or acting like you were superior? I don’t buy that for a second.” Harry asked. “It’s the truth. I had to do everything that my parents asked of me. Since there were also death eaters and children of death eaters or friends of my parents at Hogwarts, I-. I had to act that way, maybe I actually believed my parents lies in the first year, but I quickly found out your friend group had the right ideologies. I used to envy you.” Draco admitted. 

“Is that why you didn’t give me up that night at your house?” Harry asked. “I knew that if I gave you up my life would stay miserable since Voldemort would have won. I just wanted to be free and for that you needed to succeed. I would have done more if I could, but I was already in trouble for not recognising you.” Draco said. “They couldn’t have known you lied.” Harry said. “They knew the moment they found out it was you. They also scolded me for letting you get away with my wand.” Draco said. “Then why did you go to them at the end during the battle?” Harry asked. “I thought you were dead. I thought we had lost, and he had won. When I realised he was defeated I made sure I could get away from my family.” Draco said. “I’m not the only one that could have defeated him.” Harry claimed. “He told all of us that you were. The only threats to him were you and Dumbledore and well.” Draco said. 

“Was your life really that miserable?” Harry decided to ask. “The only one that didn’t abuse me was Dobby. Then you set him free which meant that I had to also do tasks that Dobby would normally do. So, to answer your question: yes, my life was miserably. No one believes it was since I was so good at acting like it wasn’t.” Draco said. “That’s awful. I also used to live with abusive people. Obviously not the same kind of situation but I know how difficult it can be to be completely alone. Still doesn’t accuse your behaviour though.” Harry said. “I know, I just wanted to explain myself.” Draco sighed. “Is that all you wanted?” Harry asked. “I, I want a chance for us to become friends. I know I have a lot to make up for but please, let me try.” Draco almost begged. “I’m fine with it. My friends still hate you though.” Harry said. “I’ll just explain myself to them as well and apologise.” Draco said. “Alright, I’ll let you know next time we all hang out.” Harry said. “Thank you.” Draco said sincerely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the paragraph that is in italics Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione travel back into the past. They witness past abuse aimed at Draco. If you are sensitive to that I would recommend you skip that paragraph.

“Why is **he** here?” Hermione asked. “He wants to become friends with us.” Harry explained. “Did you already forget everyone he has done?” Ron exclaimed. “No, I haven’t. At least just hear him out.” Harry said. “Fine, let’s hear it Malfoy.” Hermione said. “First of all, I’m deeply sorry for everything I did.” Draco started. Hermione and Ron just rolled their eyes a little. “I know it’s not an excuse, but I literally had no choice. My parents abused me, and I was forced to do everything exactly the way they wanted to. Failure was also not an option.” Draco continued. “They couldn’t have possibly controlled every single action.” Ron said. “They maybe couldn’t but Snape and students in Slytherin could.” Draco said. “Wasn’t Snape a good guy?” Harry asked. “Didn’t mean that he didn’t keep an eye on me simply to pretend to be one of them.” Draco said.

“This is absurd. Why should we trust anything you say?” Hermione said. “I can prove it to you.” Draco said. “How?” Ron asked. “I have a time turner that my father made. With it we should be able to travel several years back into the past.” Draco said. “Is that safe?” Ron asked again. “As long as we don’t interact with anyone.” Hermione said. “I don’t need to see it to believe it, but I can’t speak for you two.” Harry said. The other two hesitated a bit. “I need to see it to believe they were controlling everything.” Hermione admitted. “Okay, let me get it ready.” Draco said.

_They all travelled back to the moment right after Harry, Ron and Hermione had escaped Malfoy manor. “Did you seriously think we wouldn’t find out you lied? I know everything you do Draco.” Lucius screamed. Young Draco just stood there; he didn’t utter a single word. “We could have been heroes but instead you messed it all up. For what? They won’t accept you into their group and they will lose. If you wanted to prevent me being angry at you, you definitely failed.” Lucius continued screaming. “Now, now Lucius. Maybe he really didn’t know.” Narcissa said. She was also abusive but a little less than Lucius. “He would have said something already if he didn’t. Besides, he also basically handed Harry his wand. He’s just a pathetic excuse.” Lucius said. Young Draco simply lowered his head, he knew that if he said anything at all it would just make the situation worse. “Just go to your chores and no meals for the next few days.” Lucius sighed. “Alright father.” Young Draco said and walked of._

They got back to the present before anyone could respond to what they just saw. “Oh wow.” Ron exclaimed. “You were telling the truth.” Hermione said. “I wouldn’t lie about something like this. That wasn’t even the worst conversation we had.” Draco said. “I’m so sorry Draco.” Harry said. “I’m sorry too for every horrible thing I had to do to you three and your friends.” Draco said. “Well I’m not sorry for anything, but you can stay.” Hermione said. Ron simply nodded in agreement.


	3. Chapter 3

“Thank you. I know I have a lot to make up for.” Draco said. He was a little shaken up from having to revisit that moment. “Are you okay Draco?” Harry asked. Harry was familiar with what reliving bad memories could do to someone. “To be honest no. It’s almost like I am back there again. All the emotions from then are back.” Draco admitted. Hermione and Ron didn’t know what to say or do since they had no experiences with something like this.

“Okay, well I can promise you that you never have to feel like that again. Your parents or anyone like them for that matter cannot hurt you anymore. You’re free now.” Harry said. “I know I am. That doesn’t mean that they cannot find me and abuse me again. Or that I mess something up with you that makes any of you do something similar.” Draco said. He didn’t think that last part was very likely to happen, but it was still a worry he had right now. “We will make sure they can’t hurt you. Trust me, we will never do anything to hurt you like they hurt you.” Harry said. Hermione almost wanted to say something, but Ron stopped her from doing so. “Thank you, Harry.” Draco said. He felt better, it felt like all of that truly was in the past.

“How did you know to do that?” Ron asked Harry. “Oh, that’s easy. I have had moments like that do. Flashbacks in which I’m back at the Dursleys. I simply said what would say to myself if I had a flashback like that.” Harry explained. “Flashbacks? You experience flashbacks?” Hermione asked surprised. She knew what flashbacks were, but she had never seen Harry experience one to her knowledge. “I have for a while. Ever since we defeated Voldemort and our lives became peaceful.” Harry explained. “So that’s what it is called. I couldn’t find a word for it anywhere.” Draco said.

“It’s a muggles concept so I’m not surprised that you couldn’t find anything about it.” Harry said. “Ah, okay. So a flashback is when you relive something?” Draco asked as clarification. “Almost. It’s when you relive a bad memory. Although instead of bad memory we say trauma. Not everyone with bad memories has trauma and not everyone with trauma experiences flashbacks.” Harry explained. “Is that why me and Hermione don’t experience them?” Ron asked. “Yes. I also haven’t had flashbacks from my time at Hogwarts yet. So either my brain didn’t experience that as trauma or the flashbacks just haven’t been triggered yet.” Harry said. “We experienced quite some traumatic things at Hogwarts.” Hermione said confused. “Doesn’t mean that your brain sees it as trauma or even if you have trauma from it that you have flashbacks. Not everyone gets trauma from the same experiences.” Harry said.

“Is there a cure for flashbacks?” Draco asked. He’d like to get rid of them as soon as possible. “I’m afraid the only “cure” is to work through your trauma. I can tell you from experience that that is a painful thing to do and not something you should do alone.” Harry said. “So what do I do?” Draco asked. “We’ll figure that out together.” Harry said. “Okay.” Draco answered.


	4. Chapter 4

“Honestly, I understand that he didn’t have much of a choice with some of his actions. However, in the first couple of years he acted so arrogant.” Hermione said. It was just the three of them now. “He probably thought that what he was taught was the truth. Or at least that’s what he told me.” Harry said. “We would probably have those believes as well if we grew up in **that** household.” Ron said. “Even so he has a lot to make up for.” Hermione stated. “We all agree on that. The question is what the best way that he can do that is.” Harry said. “Let’s just see if he has really changed first.” Hermione said.

“Did you honestly believe I wouldn’t find out that you went to see Harry?” Lucius asked. “I hoped you wouldn’t find me here.” Draco answered. “My dear boy. I already found you a long time ago. There was simply no harm in letting you run around on your own. I can’t let you befriend him however.” Lucius said with pity in his voice. “Too bad, you’re no longer the boss of me.” Draco said in a moment of bravery. “Really Draco?” Lucius simply asked.

Draco immediately took a step and was about to submit. However right before he could Harry walked in. “There you are. Draco, I was looking everywhere for you.” Harry said, he hadn’t realised that Lucius was here yet. “And now that you’ve found him you can go right back home.” Lucius said before Draco could say anything. Harry was a little taken aback. “No, not unless Draco tells me to himself.” Harry said. “Harry, why exactly were you looking for me?” Draco said with a bit of a stammer in his voice. “I just had something to tell you.” Harry said. “Well, there is no need for that anymore. Draco won’t see you or any of your friends again after this. Isn’t that right Draco?” Lucius commanded.

Draco was unsure of what to say. He really want to see Harry again, but he was also scared of his father. He looked at Harry and saw a reassuring look in his eyes. “No, father. I’m going to stay friends with them.” Draco said powerful. “You’ll regret that, my boy.” Lucius said. “Maybe, but at least it will be because of my own choice. Now please leave.” Draco said in his last moment of courage. Lucius glared at Harry while he walked out.

Draco immediately collapsed on a chair in the room. “Are you okay?” Harry asked. “I didn’t think he would find me. I thought I was free.” Draco let out; tears started forming in his eyes. “You are free. You just showed that by being brave enough to stand up to him.” Harry said, there was a hint of admiration in his eyes. “But with what consequences? What if he comes for any of you?” Draco asked, the tears started streaming down his face. “You don’t have to worry about us, we’re strong enough to defend ourselves against him.” Harry reassured him. Draco just nodded slightly, not fully convinced. “Trust me, you made the right choice.” Harry said. “I hope so.” Draco said.


	5. Chapter 5

“What did you just say?” Hermione asked a little outrageous. “Draco is going to stay with me.” Harry stated. “Why?” Ron asked. “Because his father tried to threaten him when I went to visit Draco. I don’t want him to have to go through that on his own again.” Harry explained. “Thank you.” Draco uttered sincere. “What do you mean threaten him? I thought you were free from him?” Hermione asked Draco. “I thought so too, but turns out I never was. He just didn’t feel like doing anything until I started hanging out with you three.” Draco answered.

Draco had a quick flashback to the conversation with his dad, but was able to shake it off. “Are you okay?” Harry asked. “Yes, of course. I just thought back to that moment for a second.” Draco answered, he didn’t want to appear weak right now. “You know it’s okay if you’re not okay, right?” Harry asked. “Yes, we won’t judge you for it.” Ron added. “I’m still learning that.” Draco admitted.

“Anyways Harry, where exactly are you two going to stay?” Hermione asked. “I was thinking of going to the old headquarters.” Harry said. “Are you sure? Do you really want to go there with him?” Hermione asked. “Yes, after all the Black family is his family too.” Harry simply answered. “What does the Black family have to do with this?” Draco asked confused. “We used their old family house as our old headquarters.” Ron explained. “You did what now?!” Draco said. “It was Sirius’ idea when we were still at Hogwarts.” Harry said. “Explains why we never went there.” Draco responded. “Then let me show it to you now.” Harry said softly.

“Are you sure we will be safe here?” Draco asked when they were in front of the house. “Yes, it’s enchanted so that no one can find it.” Harry explained. “Okay.” Draco said a little relieved. The house was a bit of a mess since no one had been there for a while. “It’s a mess, did you not take care of it?” Draco complained. “I just haven’t been here in a good couple of years.” Harry defended. “Let me guess, we have to clean it all up ourselves?” Draco asked. “I’m afraid so.” Harry answered.

For a second Draco heard his father telling to start cleaning already. “Let’s start cleaning then.” Draco said. “We can do that later. Let me show you the rest of the house first.” Harry said. “Don’t you always immediately clean up a mess?” Draco asked confused. “No, not if the mess doesn’t bother me.” Harry said as he shrugged his shoulders. “That’s not what I was taught.” Draco answered. “We can also clean first if that makes you more comfortable in that case. But I want to relax a bit first.” Harry said. “Relaxing first sounds good.” Draco said as he ignored his father’s voice telling him otherwise.


End file.
